Holiday Schmoliday

When I was a kid it seemed like Halloween was a single day of the year preceded by a week, maybe ten days of my mother making my costume and really messing up my play time by forcing me to try it on at various stages. Now, right after school starts, the big, round, orange tents of temporary stores starting erupting like asphalt-pox in parking lots everywhere, conveniently located for all my Halloween needs. It’s a sign, folks, pay attention. The fifth dimensional natives are planning a feast of our souls, and they’re taking the time to properly season us with cheap, mass-marketed costumes and glitter. Taking an Uber to an adult Halloween party dressed as a Playboy bunny crossed with a garbage-eating-tarantula-with-a-toothache, and arthritis in two of your eight appendages, might be the last decision you ever make. Your body will return home (also via Uber) but your soul will be absent (having been plucked out the second you downed that last Cement-mixer and crossed the boundaries of our reality) and finely shredded into a deeply fermented, living kimchi, seasoned with the sadness of beings everywhere who were also trying to get their pre-Yule going. Enjoy!

On the flip-side, Happy New Year!

Wait, what?

The actual New Year is definitely open to interpretation, but for me, Samhain (Halloween) is the eve of my New Year. It just makes sense to me. October is the month where the weather really changes, taking us from the dog days of Summer into the true Autumn of an ending cycle. The veil between this world and that of those who have passed on is at its thinnest, and many cultures are making a point to honor this by putting out offerings to their ancestors. Here in the US our sense of culture is exceptionally fractured, making our spiritual holidays questionable to many, but regardless of what practice you follow, or even if you follow no practice at all, the passage of time is something we all feel and acknowledge. Starting now, we are all switching to our internal mode, looking at our Winter projects with a planning eye, and checking what’s due to come out on Netflix for the next few months. I don’t know about the rest of you, but the new season of Doctor Who starts this Sunday and I’m looking forward to that. I’ve got my popcorn ready and the lapghan I’ve been working on for three years all set to get its next rows. Maybe this will be the season I finish it, eh? I’m also gathering candy for the masses because I truly love Halloween!

The steady stream of costumed people ringing my door-bell, begging for treats is the highlight of my year. This is when I get to really fly my Freak Flag and greet them with a blood-stained bowl of candy and a screaming, flaming cat while blasting Werewolves of London through my computer speakers. I’ve got my audio clips all set up and ready to go. Screamers, check! Howlers, check! Creaking doors, check! Thunder and lightening, check! Growling monsters… (Hey! Git yer scaley asses back into the line-up! Nobody gets out until Yule!)… CHECK!

Oh yeah, and the sign Children Left Unattended Will Be Tasted. That goes on the door. See? Perfect! I can’t think of a better way to ring in the New Year than this. I might have to grab a bottle of Butterbeer and celebrate.

While you’re deciding how you want to celebrate the upcoming holidays, don’t forget to slide on over to my Patreon and consider becoming a Fan. It would mean so much to me.

Happy Halloween!