Monologue #23

Another late post.  I’m struggling to get things done for myself right now.  By this time next week my schedule will be different and I will be learning to function in a different time slot.  I’m looking forward to this a lot.  After being on third shift for five years, the idea of being able to sleep at night rather than during the day is like a rainbow spreading over my spirit.  Knowing that I’m in the last days of perpetual daylight seems to be causing extreme tiredness though.  It’s like my body knows that real sleep is coming and is already trying to get to it.

Before I go, here’s a quick work-related story.  

I was talking with a coworker about Lemon Wedges, which is my nickname for a certain customer who comes in pretty much every night.  The name came from her particular habit of eating lemon wedges in their entirety.  Pulp, seeds, rind, all of it.  The whole wedge goes in her mouth and nothing comes back out.  After relating this curious fact to my coworker, he stared at her for a few seconds, shrugged and said, “She always reminds me of Misery.  You know, that book by Stephen King?”  I promptly leaped aboard the Fiction Train and let it carry me off for the rest of the night.  Finding the Wand Maker from Harry Potter was the pinnacle of my work day!

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Monologue #22

How do you maintain forward motion when life is dragging you down?

I’m not sure how to answer this.  My life has taken a few turns these past few weeks but nothing has changed.  Same job, same first novel. I’m tired though.

I keep staring at my files and poking at the words, changing sentences and editing spelling and punctuation.  I’m afraid if I don’t at least look at it, I will forget about it.  I’m doing what I have to in order to keep my dream in motion.  This tiredness will pass eventually and I will be off and running again.  Until then, I’ll continue looking at it, reminding myself of what I’m working for.  

Before I go, I want to give a joyful thumbs up to all the Camp NaNoWriMo participants.  I’m sure you are all waking up everyday super excited to get your fingers on  your keyboards.  Keep going.  The feeling you will have when you reach your goal is worth all the work.  You guys are awesome!

Monologue #21

I wrote this piece while I was at work last night.  Evidently my sleep deprived brain thought that was close enough.  When I got home, I ate, watched an episode of Criminal Minds and went to sleep without scheduling the post.

My goal of getting my chapters in order by the end of June did not get met.  From the look of things, I may not be finished until the end of July, maybe the middle of August.  I’m not real torn up about it.  I’ve made huge progress and learned a lot about how to do this.  My largest lesson has been about organization.

When I started this last November during NaNoWriMo I was really in the dark about how to go about things.  I had index cards scattered across my coffee table and multiple files on my computer about all my characters.  My brain refused to cooperate with the idea of structure so I was just typing out every possible scene for each character as fast as I could.  Now that I’m about halfway through piecing my chapters together in a form that makes sense, I can see that I needed to structure myself a lot sooner.

Last week I bought a little program called NewNovelist that cost me about $30.  I was eyeing Scrivener too, which was only $10 more and seems to be the favorite of authors everywhere.  This late in the game I was really interested in getting myself more organized than giving myself a learning headache, so I went with NewNovelist.  It’s not perfect, but I’m happy with it.  Once I got my notes, characters, places and chapters ported over from Google Docs, I was pretty pleased with myself.  Everything is now right at my fingertips.  Some of the information the program gives me is nothing but gibberish to my eyes but the ability to have all my resources just a mouse click away without having to open multiple browser windows is really nice.  I may have another look at Scrivener for the next book though.  It offers some customization that I currently don’t have.

The other big lesson I learned this month is about timelines.  Flying by the seat of my pants with that has not been effective.  As it turns out, my lead character is moving along much slower than everyone else.  I need to go back and bring him up to speed in order to get all my events flowing smoothly and in the correct order.  Had I bothered with an outline (something I hate) I probably would have spotted that problem right away and corrected it.  This doesn’t mean I’ll be outlining in the future but I will definitely be paying closer attention to the timeline.

Happy, productive writing everyone.  I wish you all the best!

Monologue #20

This week has been one I would like to forget.  A few days ago my entire department descended into chaos and still hasn’t straightened itself out.  The company hired a new Big Guy who has been making changes that a lot of us are not comfortable with.  I’m sure most people like to believe they have a certain value within the company they work for, and to find out that value exists only in their heads can be ground shaking.  Well, that’s where I’m at.  My ground has been shook.  Once the dust settles, I hope to find myself in a slightly improved position with my day to day functions, but it has been an experience I do not wish to repeat.  The value I believed I had has been shown to be zero, a non-number with a value only as a place holder.  I am a body in a spot.  A different body can be put in my spot.  Eight years of service along with my twenty-three years of experience means nothing.

My dad had the ability to walk away from things without looking back.  I’m pretty sure he developed this ability after multiple encounters with disappointment.  Self-loathing is a terrible feeling.  To hang onto something or someone so fiercely that you compromise your own values simply because change is terrible, leaves you with questions about yourself you might not want to know the answers to.  I may not be as skilled as my dad was at saving my soul and walking away, but I certainly understand why it is necessary for me, as a person to cultivate this skill.

A job is a job.  Unfortunately I can’t replace this one with one of equal or greater financial value without ripping apart the life I have built.  I can only walk away so far.  When the dust truly settles I will be on a new shift working with people I barely remember.  This not a bad thing, it’s just different from what I’m used to.  It’s change.

Have a good week everyone.  Make like trees and bend in the storms.

Monologue #19

I like to think I’m closing in on the end of my first novel.  There are still changes happening which has me a little concerned about time, but I’m still making progress so I’m just letting it happen.  The actual finish line isn’t as close as I would like it to be though.  My personal goal was to have this wrapped up by the end of June.  It’s looking like I’ll be pushing into July now.

I’m still looking mostly at Kindle for publishing.  The overall amount of information available through a simple Google search is mind-numbing.  I’m probably jumping the gun a bit, but I find myself researching when my brain has rejected the notion of writing anymore for the day.  It seems like I’m going strong for a few days, then BAM!  I’m staring at the computer screen without a single idea about how to connect my thoughts.  That’s when I shrug it off and spend a couple hours looking at publishing options.

Is anyone else partially writing their book on their phone?  Lol.  I spend a lot of my breaks at work tapping out words with my thumbs on my Note 5.  I can’t help myself.  Ideas ramble into my brain and I need to get them written down before I lose them.  Back in November, when I started this project in NaNoWriMo I think I wrote a full quarter of my word count on my phone.  It’s a tough way to go, but it works.

Happy Father’s Day!

Monologue #18

Another week has flown by.  The temperature here is close to 90 degrees and my antique AC unit is struggling.  This means I am not sleeping well.  Hopefully the maintenance guy will come tomorrow and fix it.  I have done as much as I am able with my trusty can of compressed air.  Now it’s their turn.  I have taken evasive action and strategically positioned my fans to produce a wind-tunnel effect in my small apartment.  The internal temperature is still in the low eighties but at least I have a breeze.

Smashing Pumpkins is pretty much on schedule.  The rough sleep has slowed down my concentration right now so I’m not moving as quickly as I was last week, but I’m still thinking I can be finished by the end of the month.  I’ve been trying to establish a workable format so I won’t have a ton of things to do when I’m ready to turn all the files into book form.  The mighty Oracle of Google has shown me a number of ways to accomplish this.  I even have cover art now!  My wife was kind enough to bust out her mad skillz and produce some options for me.

Also, I want to give a shout out to any LGBT followers.  It is June and that means… HAPPY PRIDE!  The festival here in Milwaukee was in full swing this past weekend.  While I did not participate this year due to my devotion to getting my book finished, my wife spent all of Sunday having a blast at the festival grounds and riding  with friends in the parade.  Our community here is strong and beautiful!  Stay Proud Milwaukee!

Monologue #17

June is my month to get Smashing Pumpkins wrapped up and cleaned up.  I’m planning to publish at the end of September.  I won’t have an actual launch date for a little while yet, but as soon as I do I’ll post it here along with information on where to get it.  

I’ve had to come to grips with my genre for this which was a bit of a surprise to me.  Smashing Pumpkins is definitely Urban Fantasy, but not the kind with magic or demons.  The fact that I have added a non-existent element to our current reality takes the book right out of the realm of plain old fiction.  In addition to that, it also stands as a Mystery Thriller.  I’m sort of scratching my head over this.  I hadn’t planned to write something that landed in more than one genre.  I suppose it was inevitable considering how much I dislike something so common as reality.  I love to change things, to alter a single item of what I see and imagine how it would affect life around me.

So far, I’m pretty happy with my progress on this first book.  Having never written one before I’ve been nervous about the amount of time I have been spending on things, but I’m not really beating myself up over it.  Things take as long as they take.  

Happy writing everyone!